A few weeks ago I saw a distraught post from a neighbor and fellow mom on Facebook. She had been working hard to lose her baby weight, and another mom had just congratulated her at the playground for being pregnant with baby #2. Catch is, she wasn’t. And now she felt awful about herself.
WTF? I was so disgusted that anyone, especially another mom, would be so thoughtless.
I’ve seen this mom a number of times recently, and I never once suspected that she was expecting. But even if I did, I’d never actually ask someone if they were pregnant. Bloating happens. That’s why we all have fat jeans in our closets.
Then, last Friday, the same thing happened to me.
Chris and I were walking up the street to our apartment. I was carrying Mason (similar to the way I carried him over Memorial Day Weekend, left) and we were all laughing, in a good mood because it was the weekend and Bug had a fun new toy to play with.
Suddenly some random women passes us and yells: “You shouldn’t be carrying him!”
Startled, I stopped walking and asked “Why?” I know–I shouldn’t engage with randoms on the street, but I was just so caught off guard.
“You’ve got a baby, don’t you?” she demanded.
Horrified, I responded that no, I did not.
Her reply? “Oh.” And she kept on walking, totally unapologetic for her mistake. As if we had just had a quick exchange about the weather.
Now I was the one who was devastated. I hate to admit that her comment ruined my night, but it did. Despite countless hours of therapy I still care way too much about what other people say. It sucks.
Chris spent the rest of the walk to our apartment insisting that I looked great, to ignore the rude stranger, but I was just so mortified! I’m not stick skinny, and I was admittedly looking a little bloated, but I don’t think I look knocked up.
I sent an emergency email to my trainer, and then started texting about the horrifying encounter to a few close girlfriends. Of course each one jumped to my defense, slowly rebuilding my confidence. (That’s the flip side of putting too much stock in what other people say; you feel built up as quickly as you feel torn down.)
I’ve been sucking in my stomach ever since and glancing at my profile every time I walk past a window. Must hit the gym lots this week.